more words people are typing into search engines causing them to end up here

* very little girls fucked in hong kong
* my dad spanks me
* japanese lolies
* richey edwards mutilation pics
* facking
* spank my red bush pics (disturbing haha)

*tut tut at all the pervs*

My blog has been broken!

Erm I get the piss taken out of me at work alot. Unfortunately I'm an intelligent but dizzy female, causing them to rib me lots. Grr I get called stuff *boohoo* meanies. Me boss now thinks me dad spanks me....umm I can't remember how spanking and me dad got in the conversation in the same scentence my now me bossy is calling me spanky bum lmao :o

OMG I shagged a goat!

[Disclaimer] Erm Emma did not personally shag a goat! the man in the article did :S eww

vooz is a nifty lil site

More searchwords from google that refer people to my blog:~

* brown phlegm
* madonna pics cone
* redmaiden (wow am I famous or is there another redmaiden?!)

umm nice

Vote for a new M&Ms colour here! Vote pink!!!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

right there some lyrics blogged umm what to do?!

Here's my favourite computer games :~

* Dungeon Keeper 1,2 and Deeper Dungeons
* Rollercoaster Tycoon + Added Attractions + Loopy landscapes
* Doom - all of them
* Starcraft
* Quake
* Theme Hospital
* Sonic (and all his merry lil chumlets)

and who remembers classics such as: Chuckie Egg + many other old skool stylee shit computer games that I mourn the loss of :(

It's not like you to say sorry, I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken for handing you a heart worth breaking
I've been wrong, I've been down, been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head scream "are we having fun yet?"

-- Nickelback - How you remind me

I guess I shouldn't blog any song lyrics either coz usually they have any meaning for anyone else.
FUckit why do I even blog anything?! I'm so boring no one bothers to stay here long.

Jesus I found myself watching Crufts (dog show) today. Well I couldn't be arsed to get up and switch the channel over. Plus it's Sunday..what do I expect on TV?! Songs of fucking Praise *gah*. Anyways, them doggies...well no dogs with afros so I was slightly dissapointed. This big flippin' poodle won btw. A pekingnese came second. Omg a right pair of dogs I hate!!Them poodles with them stupid hairdo's the owners give them. and them pekingeses ...like waddling cow pats lmao.

Apparently it's Mother's Day today. I didn't send anything coz I don't believe in that commercial shite. Another cheap, marketing ploy and you all fell for it! I prefer to hug my mum and sometimes be nice to her the rest of the year.

Is everyone off playing Metalgearsolidpoo? Gawd.
I'm stuck sending out mailings to people (for my dad). I've got a deadline to meet. Great on like my only day off and I'm working :(

Saturday is the day all the dumb twats shop where I work. If you are a twat, and reading this, do not come in when I work please. Or I shall soon be certified.

Thanx Red

Omg I'm gonna wet my pants with total excitement!!!!!!
Yup I've got ebay fever again and have just bid on an Afro Ken pink bag If any of you little shits out bid me I'll cry!!! That bag is mine :|

More searchwords that reffered people from google to my blog:-

"getting old jokes"
"hello kitty mac"
"ladyboy fack"
"she-ra princess of power AND naked"
"Milk your man"

What on earth are you dirty pervs looking for?!

::Links:: ~ because I felt like it

Love Revolution
Kandied Kat
Girlie Mac
Essences of design

Question sent in:

if u had to burn a book, what one wud it be and why?

OOh that's a good one that is, I'm thinking the bible and bored of the cockring.

The bible beacause it's a waste of good paper, a load of tosh that far too many people take seriously and have wars over.
Bored of the cockrings because it's an annoying book where characters have silly names. Too much hype for a poncy boring book.

Mac Users are a strange breed

They seem to get aroused by their beloved piles of junk. To me my computer is groovy, and I get pissed off with it, when it doesn't work and repeatedly shows me the blue screen of death, but I don't love it. It's a functional piece of technology (albeit that oftens doesn't fucntion). These mac users, I swear they would wank over their odd lil plastic friend if it didn't make a mess on their keyboard.

+ The Church and their tacky marketing ploys +

Poster spotted outside a church today: With God UR not the weakest link

I've also seen before:

* God is for life not just for Christmas
* Four Weddings and a funeral

What next eh?!
Send your hilarious church advertisements to:-

satanshenchwife@hell.com

Bad tasting joke

What goes blue after 3 strokes?

Princess Margaret

[Dave] What is Princess Margaret's favourite band called?

The Strokes (groan...)

:One for the kids:

Here's something for the kids to read

I'm shocked to find out that Hello Kitty has a boyfriend called Daniel! The little hussy!

[Dave] I told ya there was a character called Daniel, didn't ya see him when ya watched that "ah so graham norton"?

Projectile Vomiting

I woke up this morning and felt the need to burp. I was trying my hardest to force it out but i just wouldn't so I went for a final might push and...OMG I vomited all over the bathroom carpet!. Hmph all my lovely breakfast all over the floor and still no burp!

...:In the News Today:...

* Labour will try to push through a Bill to ban fox hunting about bloody time!

* Spike Milligan has died :(

What is Afro Ken? I hear you cry!

Well Afro Ken is literally Japanese for "dog with afro".
He's got lots of doggy friends with different kinds of hairdos lol. I love this dog he makes me laugh hehe so cute.

You can't buy it in England :"(

Looking in the wierd section at ebay and omg you can bid for the following odd items!

* Assorted vibrators
* Taxidermy things - stuffed yucky animals
* Cocking with nipple atachments
* Exploding golf balls
* Pirhana Fish - glazed on stand

yuckeroo

OMG im gonna wet my pants with glee!

I've just bought some San-X Afu Innu stationary/memo thangy!

OMG look out e-bay I'm coming to buy everything!

I think msn messenger should add the following to the choice of status:-

* I've gone off for a shit/dump/piss/wee
* I'm scoffing/rummaging for food/snacking
* I'm actually here I'm just ignoring you
* I'm looking at porn so it's hard to type with one hand
* My mum/dad/friend/lover/boss is in the room so please don't tell me you want a spanking over msn!

Like rating pics of people?! then rate this some people need medical help quickly!

-- Metro Newspaper

Two gay penguins have been outed by their keepers. Wendall and Cass have been devoted to each other for eight years. Now keepers at New York Aquarium have discovered they are both male. "they even have sex, though I don't know how successful that is," said one.

I played the same game and got the following results:

You live in an apartment.
You're married to My right hand.
Your car is a TVR Tuscan.
Your car is the color Navy Blue.
Your honeymoon is a S&M seminar.
Your occupation is a Bangkok Ladyboy
You have this many kids:1 (0male, 1 Female)

I didnt get to go to Hellokittyland as i asked on the honeymoon bit. *double sob*

Its kinda worrying that i seem to get the kinky roles* in life... *sigh*
(*kinky roles=Bangkok ladyboys, S&M seminars... etc)